What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

Double-whammy

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

Everybody love food when they are hungry

How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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