Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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This is an anti- joke

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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