What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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your mum

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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