How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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hi jonny

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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womens rights

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops