What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops