What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats long and black on a black guy slavery

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops