"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops