one morning i turned on my tv

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

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chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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