Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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