There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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Lil Wayne

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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