What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

Your sex life.

two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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