What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops