A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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