Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

thumb_up thumb_down +5

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops