Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops