The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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