A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

non poop

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

I walk into a bar...

What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

your mama's so fat... that's it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...