What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Eric is gay Ha

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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what are you mike bibby?

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops