Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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What's 9 + 10 19

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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