What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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