Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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A man walks into a vagina

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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