A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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NEVER

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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