What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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