What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

Cancer. Super Cancer.

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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