How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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