Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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i like turtles

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Chuck Norris.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Granny porn!

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops