Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

Chlamydia

The global news

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

An epileptic man attends a rave.

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

A fat guy!

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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