How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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