Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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call me maybe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops