How did the black person die? Of old age

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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