A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Good job, son.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops