Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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