Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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