Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

A man walks into a bar

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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