An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops