What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Good job, son.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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i found waldo.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops