Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

poop nuff said

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

What's just not right? Left

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

What's worse than bombs? Nukes

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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