What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Nobody cares maddie!

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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