What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

find the o 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duh its up top

a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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