Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops