How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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This is not a joke.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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