A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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9/11

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops