Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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