How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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