Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

I love pissing people off :P

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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