wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Shltskc gw? G

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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