Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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hi penis ham telephone

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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