Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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