What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

mikey is cute

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call double A's? Batteries

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops