whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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