roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a skinny sumo wrestler

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Its true, he didnt write that!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

homosexual rights to marriage

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

this last joke was a correction to the other one

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops