What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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