Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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