A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops