A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

lipstick pig

If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

The Blonde walked into a wall.

Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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