Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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I like touching my boobs

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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